why do relationships suck?

[Nico]

i've been single 3 years. before that I had a very good relationship for two, destroyed by outside forces. before that I was single seven years.

relationships don't suck, anymore than being single sucks. they are just different states.

rule #1 If you are going to have a relationship, make sure it is better than being single.
rule #2 when in a relationship, invest in the other. Investment will give best dividends.
rule #3 If it doesn't work, walk away and don't think that having an other defines you.

I am a pretty lonely dude, but only esoterically as I like my own company, and don't need of much, but I do like my own company being broken from time to time by the exact right person, and I know it will all end one way or another, no matter what. Ultimately I am happy and realise I'm on a ride over which I have little control.

rule #4 don't post drunk



Em, you are a wonderful person. i've known you for a long time and have only one rule for you # realise your value and don't settle for less than awesome, and let it go when it's gone. Also to break the one rule theory, don't take the first thing tht comes along.

[Revenant]

whoa...reverse it a bit, why did the divorce happen?

[Nico]

[Revenant]

[Mr.Bill]

This is easier said than done: But try to make sure your significant other is also a friend.

I know lots of people after a couple of years they find out they have absolutely NOTHING in common. On weekends and at vacation time he goes one way, she goes the other.. Before you know it they both have 'different' friends.. Friends that they have more in common with..

I'm not talking about both liking to go out to dinner, or to parties.. Everyone likes that, I mean spending some of your down time, spending your leisure time with your other.

I'm not saying you have to spend every spare minute together. But because you and your other have completely different interest if in your leisure time you find yourself NOT wanting to spend ANY of that time with your significant other, or vise versa, the relationship is in serious trouble.

[lil bit]

[The Dharma Bum]

[lil bit]

The first actual relationship I had was with a young accountant. He made it plain he fancied the pants off me, which was balm to my hurt soul, and we had a whale of a time for about a month or so.

He began to be irked that I could only go out once a week and never stay overnight, and neither would I allow him to stay overnight at mine, so it sort of fizzled out as far as I was concerned.

He used to come to my house Friday evenings about 8.30 with a takeaway, which gave me time to get the girls to bed , have a shower and doll myself up. The last time I saw him, for whatever stupid reason came into his thick head, he came straight from work at 6.30.

Toys all over the living room floor, the sink full of dirty dishes, me unmade up and sweaty with my hair screwed in a knot on top of my head. I could have wept with vexation.

Of course, my girls were bright eyed and curious at this new friend of mummy's, so I left them with him while I tidied the kitchen at top speed. Before long, a shout followed by a loud wail followed by cursing , swearing , screaming and general pandemonium had me running into the living room.

My youngest daughter, not quite two, had a bit of a cold and sneezed snot all over his bespoke suit, so he pushed her off the sofa swearing and carrying on, so naturally she started bawling. My eldest daughter, indignant at this treatment of her baby sister, promptly bit him. It was quite a scene.

It ended with me chucking him out. On the doorstep he had the cheek to ask if he could ring me during the week. My middle daughter told everyone mummy's friend was a stupid wanker for ages afterwards.

I decided to stick to casual relationships after that. I had too much baggage for anything else.

[lil bit]

[The Dharma Bum]

Well, I'm glad it worked out in the end.