In my eyes Britain can be split into...
Scotland : A distant land too far north to be called northern.
Wales : A much nicer country full of sheep (we'll just forget the nickname for Welsh people) of which the north is much nicer than the run down coal centres of the south (destroyed by the South of England).
North East England : Or Geordieland. A land full of folk who are almost Scottish but drink slightly less booze and irn bru.
North West England : A land of great industrial centres that have been systematically destroyed by the money grabbers in the south.
Yorkshire : Same as above, just slightly better.
The West Midlands : A land of awful dreary accents and a city that doesn't really know what it's doing.
The East Midlands : The West's lesser brother.
The South West : A land full of farmers and cider!
The South East : A suburban wasteland, complete with a lack of character and anything.
London : BURN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(PS - please take these with a pinch of salt )