I'm getting married

[exploited]

Never take each other for granted.

The little things make a big difference. Pick her up from work. Get her random shit. Make a point of talking every night.

Keep the sex life fresh by trying new things. I suggest pegging.

[Homer]

[John Galt]

[exploited]

[The Dharma Bum]

that is basically what that means

btw congrats homeslice!!!

[Dylan]

[The Comrade]

you guys need to back off galt. don't you think he has it bad enough dying alone without you dog piling him?

[exploited]

I'd marry Galt if I had the chance.

[Spider]

Spend a few minutes each day talking about something that isn't the household, the job, the news, the annoying neighbors. Think of some random topic and pose it to her as if she's a stranger on a first date and actually learn and engage with her outside of all the usual stuff that makes up the day to day. And, as Ex said, maintain a habit of small, thoughtful gestures...and make sure she realizes that your doing it not merely because you aren't an ass...but because you are taking an active interest in her happiness, as a partner who's got skin in the happiness game. And recognize how and why she's doing the same for you, and the value of it.

I'm not sure there are a lot of hard and fast rules about this, since its all so subjective...but having watched nearly all of our circle of friends go through their own marriage/divorce cycles since we've been together, there is absolutely zero doubt that its extremely rough. Gotta make it a lifestyle that you work to maintain, as opposed to merely a state of being that you expect will pay dividends on its own.

[exploited]

Another thing is to learn how to fight properly. It sounds weird, but it's really important, because you are going to end up disagreeing, and those disagreements could be about really important stuff, like kids, money, emotional issues, etc. Alot of people think that fighting with your wife is the same as fighting with your girlfriend is the same as fighting with your friends. That just isn't so. Don't raise your voice. Don't slam doors. Don't make ultimatums. Don't call her names. Don't argue in front of other people. Don't refer to past arguments. Many of our friends don't think that Jess and I fight at all, but that's not true - we just promised each other early on that we wouldn't do those things, because no matter how much a person says it's in the past, they will remember being called a name, they remember having past mistakes held above their heads, and it causes resentment.

I've seen too many of my married friends get divorced, and I personally think a big part of it is how they fought. They got along fantastic when they were getting along. But when they didn't agree, the gloves came off, and that is sure-fire way of setting the groundwork for grudges, resentment and ultimately the decision to stop trying.