Drunk, Stupid or Drunk/Stupid Stories

[OGPhilly]

I like how PoS told that boilerplate drinking in high school story just so he could mention that he played varsity football.

[Winchester]

It was too long ago and my recollection is vague but I went out drinking with my uncle and ended up in jail and no it wasn't for drunk driving.

[Mo~]

OMG!!! Win got busted for spanking his monkey in public!!!

[J.K. Gregg]

I've been drunk twice in my life. The first time was with my wife when we were living in SoCal. She wanted to make sure I wasn't an angry drunk before she married me. So we were both drinking cranberry juice and vodka, and I just kept downing them. Well, we both got drunk and she took the toilet, and I took the tub. I swore to myself I'd never drink again.

But I did, and that was my bachelor party. Had two drinks at the comedy club, a double-shot of yeager and a girly mixed drink (because my buddies wanted to embarrass me at the bar), and a lot of walking. It's all a little hazy, but I distinctly remember walking through downtown, immediately turning into a bar, past the bouncer, into the bathroom, and not quite making it to the sink. One day, I might go back and apologize to the bar-owner.

[The Dharma Bum]

[eynon81]

[eynon81]

I had a lot of fun in my teens and twenties...I'm still hungover and deeply in debt because of it, here are some highlights:
-drank a lot of water, then a live gold-fish, then puked it back up to see if it lived, it did...my room-mate kept it as a pet
-got bit on the dick by a guy tweaking out on meth
-let every one of my room-mates punch me in the face while listening to Johny Cash
-on different occasion started crying while listening to Johny Cash and predicted his death (spooky)
-got up on stage with a Chinese Eagles Cover band...shouted chorus to Hotel California
-got to compete in drinking Olympics on Israeli team, we lost to the Australians
-found god on a dirty kitchen floor with an atheist and jewish theology student
-made out with dude who kinda looked like a chick
-nearly got in fight with minor league Brazilian soccer team, was save by Nigerian prince
-did get in fight with a bunch of drunk students from Kazakhstan, kicked ass, america! (this was the same week as the battle of fallujah btw. it was my contribution to the war effort)
-accidentally my hand on the knife of a hot "dominatrix" at a party, had my way (not all the way) with her on the stairs while her date apparently watched & fumed (only found out that last part later)
-made out with 3 different high-school seniors (I was in college) to ring in 2003
-chopped DVD player in half (sorta) with Samurai Sword
-lots of truth or dare
-painted self blue, couldn't later get blue paint off
-woke up on park bench in China
-stubbled from normal upstairs party into basement fetish party. was nearly Mandan Sun Danced.... http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/top ... /Sun-Dance (click on picture to see non)
-once blew opportunity with cute Polish girl and sorta cute German girl by suggesting I host a "peace summit"...don't mention the war

further information available upon request...

[eynon81]

[eynon81]

[The Dharma Bum]