Drunk, Stupid or Drunk/Stupid Stories

[eynon81]

[exploited]

A heavy coke addict and also my boss tried to force me to get high, because he was so enraged by my dislike for the drug. Backed me into a corner with his little bump tool.

I punched him in the stomach.

Didn't get fired either... although it did make me a workplace legend

[The Dharma Bum]

[eynon81]

[uebermann]

[eynon81]

[Precocity]

Ok I'll bite since ub did. Mine also has to do with college.

During my 2nd year at college on the first weekend of fall classes, some buddies and I decided to go out to one of the many bars near the campus on a Friday night. As is the case with most of those bars, it was pretty crowded and a good healthy mix of males and females. During the night I met this really hot freshman girl. She was a local native of the town the college was in. We talked and drank for at least an hour and started getting pretty drunk. Now it was common practice that if you hook up you are on your own to get back to the dorm. When a couple of my friends told me they were leaving and wanted to know if I needed a ride back (about 3 miles from the bar) the girl told them that to go on without me and she would give me a ride back to the dorm.

We stayed in the bar maybe another half hour and it was close to around midnight (I think). We had spent half the time making out in the corner of the bar. Nobody really paid attention because it was so crowded and there were lots of other couples making out. It was a pick up bar after all.

I was pretty drunk and so was she. I was pretty fired up because she kept rubbing against me and letting me rub her breasts. While I can't remember all that was said at that point, she said she was ready to leave and told me that she would take me back to her dorm. Not mine, hers. I was ready. Trust me, I had two brains that night and one was smashed and the other was my navigator.

Well the problem was that she was just drunk enough to forget to go to the dorm and we went to her parent's house instead. Mostly by habit, not design. It wasn't a big house, but I was drunk and really wasn't paying attention because all I could think about is getting her clothes off which is pretty much all she was thinking about. I kept pawing her in the car the whole way there and wasn't even paying attention to the location we were at. We go in the back door and walk down the hall. I can remember her putting her fingers to her lips saying "shhh" as we walked down the hall. Again I didn't realize it was a dorm hall and really didn't care at that point. I was thinking quiet because I thought we were in a girl's dorm.

We get into her bedroom and fall on the bed peeling our clothes off and proceed to have sex for a least an hour (I think). We both passed out afterwards. The sex would have been better but the alcohol was in control.

Now here comes the funny part.

The next morning I woke up and looked at the clock and it was about 7:30 in the morning. I was hung over bigtime. She was still passed out in the bed. I was dying of thirst so I left her room and walked down the hall to find the kitchen naked of course. I opened the refrigerator and saw what I craved - orange juice. I grabbed the carton walked over to the cabinet and hunted for a glass. I never once noticed that I wasn't in a dorm room. I was totally oblivious to where I was.

I opened a few cabinets to find a glass then just said f**k it and started drinking out of the carton. Remember I'm standing there butt naked. Next thing I know I hear "WHAT THE HELL" and turn to see her father and mother standing in the kitchen in total shock. I freaked. I spilled orange juice all over myself and tried to cover my privates with the orange juice carton. The woman said nothing but her eyeballs were about to pop out of her head.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" her father yelled. He said something else but I don't remember.

I muttered my name and the father left the kitchen leaving the mother standing there gawking at me. Next thing I know I hear the father yelling at his daughter from down the hall. It went on for about 2 minutes but it was stuff like "WHO IN THE HELL IS HE", "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING?", "YOUR MOTHER IS ABOUT TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK" Stuff like that. About all I could make out of what she was saying was "leave me alone" which is probably the typical response from someone totally hung over. I'm still standing there frozen in place in the kitchen. I couldn't move. The mother didn't move and couldn't stop staring at me. She was like a damn statue.

Then the next thing I know the father walks back in and throws my clothes right in my face yelling at me to get the hell out. As I'm getting dressed, the mother leaves and I can hear her crying in the living room. I can hear the father yelling more at the daughter that she wasn't going to be staying in the dorm and if she wanted to stay in college she was going to have to move back home blah blah blah. I finished dressing and left noticing the mother in the living room still crying. I realized that I didn't have a car but there was no way I was going to go back up to the house and ask for a ride. I ended up walking 5 miles back to the dorm. Hungover.

I saw that girl two weeks later in the library. She wouldn't talk to me. She walked away and left the library and I never saw her again. I never heard the rest of the story but I suspect it didn't go well. I had thought about going to her house but couldn't remember where it was. Oh well. Maybe I was better off.

[eynon81]

[Precocity]

Actually hungover vision isn't blurry, it's more like a fog. You can make out things if you focus but you can't register the surroundings (at least that is the way it is with me). I can't forget her mom's eyes though. TBH, I don't even remember what the father really looked like, but he was bigger than me.

[uebermann]