When I was still an impressionable soul I went to a massive electric dance event near Austin. The night was spent with one of my best lady friends and it is still framed in my mind as one of the best events of my life, but there was just so much weirdness that I can't even recall it all. We were drinking and then hippy flipped. For those who don't know, you basically combine magic mushrooms and ecstasy.
The night started off with me trying to figure a way to hide the 'stash' using string and my testicles. Well we stop by a portable set up outside the gates and I find out that the bag I attached to my nuts had fallen off. So we panicked and retraced our steps. Surprisingly, it was untouched in the middle of a field. I hid it under my socks and entered without a problem.
If you've been to these events, let me just say EVERYONE is messed up in EVERY way imaginable. You can find ANYTHING. And depending on the event, that can either be awesome or a nightmare. We did and saw a lot of weird stuff - including someone who was selling acid out of a portable and a group that had somehow sneaked in a microwave oven - but I'll just talk about the embarrassing part.
Okay, so my friend was pretty fried by the end of the night. She could barely speak coherently and was suffering from a massive headache. I did the polite thing and drove us back, but on the way she complains that she needs water quick. Her lips are dry as hell, and I'm worried about her condition. (I kinda blame it on her drinking much more beforehand, but whatever). So we stop at a small gas station in the middle of nowhere. Later I would Google the city and discover it had a population of 800. Now here's the kicker: I had left my shirt at the massive. So not wanting to walk in half naked, I took my friend's sweater, which was about 3 sizes too small, and proceeded to enter. My stomach and nipples were pretty much exposed. The only person working in the gas station was a very old woman who nearly died when she saw me enter. I overheard her gasp - literally. I tried my best to pretend like nothing was odd.
Well as I was picking out the waters a group from the massive enters. They are MESSED UP and knocking over a bunch of stuff. One of the dudes stands right next to me, looks me over, and starts SCREAMING, "NARC! NARC!"
There I am at 4 o-clock in the morning, looking like a transvestite, and this guy is screaming about how I'm an undercover pig. I ignore him and buy the water from the frantic woman, then scram. But right before I leave another group pulls up. Before I can open the car door, someone from this second group runs up and asks if I could spare him some blood. I pulled out hard and never looked back. My friend nearly peed herself because I hauled arse.