by Boris Johnson » Mon Sep 03, 2012 5:23 pm
Batman remake 1: part two.
Whilst Tom Hardy is in my opinion quite a good actor, as the bad guy replacement for Liam Neeson he appeared to have some how caught a shitty robotic acting and implausible character motives virus from him, maybe that had to share the same trailer? I dunno. The entire film's plot and character development only appears to serve as causal links between CGI sequences and if it allows more CGI sequences, then a dues ex machine is exactly what's called for. What little of the plot there was seemed to boil down to: Batman is all injured and old, why... err.. he was running at the end of the last one and its been like ten years, that's gotta hurt. Also here's this guy with a mask, he's scary, he wants to blow things up, why, because he can. Turns out he's living in the sewer, batman finds him with the help of the guy from 10 Things I Hate About You. For some reason not only has batman developed fusion power in secret, but due to the law of dramatic tension if you take its core out, it explodes in an arbitrary time frame. Then Morgan freeman turns up for a bit, but it appears he doesn't really care enough about the movie to advance the plot in any significant or interesting way. Likewise Micheal Caine seems to have given up on both the plot and batman by this point and buggers off to Italy or something. Bunch of crap about anarchism and popularist movements that actually could have made some interesting social commentary strings along a few fight scenes in-between shots of Gary Oldman looking grumpy. At the end everything spectacularly fails to explode in a way that definitely killed batman. Also it turns out the guy from ten thing I hate about you's first name is Robin, zing plot twist that continues a failing franchise from its crap 3rd act to 4th or something.
Unfortunately it appears that the real star of the batman franchise reboot is in fact Heath Ledger the other guy from ten things i hate about you. Unfortunately for this filmand any further sequels he liked sleeping pills, just, a bit, too much.